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Abused And Discarded

May 19, 2010

By the Philalethist.

I had been speculating if I should write my experience here or not. And then I said yes, yes++++

I personally have no attachment left with AOL now, after 10 yrs of complete dedication to the Guru, the organization, to projects, satsangs ,courses…etc etc. Time, energy, money, commitment , years- all for AOL , living with just one belief that the Guru knows everything and he will take care of me as well.

I still respect the Guru for his immense knowledge…and anyway my personal and family values are such that I won’t talk cheap and low about any elder and a learned man like him or any other saint…unlike many others in AOL who think that just because they are in AOL so they have the right to make fun of any other spiritual organization or guru whether it’s Ramdevji or any other ashram.

Anyway..Coming to my experience –

When I saw this blog and comments of those AOL people who are saying they would like to have a rational discussion to clarify AOL’s stand in various situations…


Yes many criminals and terrorist want to change and are probably being put on right track by putting their destructive minds (that made them commit crimes like murder or rape) but these guys accept that they were wrong and they want to change their life and serve but we all know AOL will not make these men as AOL poster boys. So What about guys who are using AOL for their pleasures (satisfying their physical/ sexual/ financial needs and getting to sit on a fancy stage) and these guys won’t change ever because AOL is giving them enough protection and honor instead of making them realize that what they are doing is wrong and shameful for the organization.


I have been used, abused, physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally even financially by this one guy in AOL... for years I had trusted him and his family thinking that they are into AOL so they must be spiritual, honest and simple human beings.

To this you can say its a personal issue or that why did I allow myself to be used by him but this is what happens when the family shows that they are spiritual beings and simple people like me start believing AOL singers teachers blindly without much questioning because it’s One World Family and I belong to you and love is our very nature.

Yeah I was too simple and a blind fool.

You can say AOL would not get involved or do anything about it...

But how about AOL’s image at large, what about AOL taking care and responsibility of putting a smile on everyone’s face, AOL doing stand up speak outs for justice, for cleanliness etc etc…WHAT about clean mind, heart and values of people in the organization? How about standing up for justice for a victim like me, how about comforting girls like me…So to say that AOL has helped about helping just one girl and prove that you really care for an individual rather than just putting it on papers that AOL is changing the world for good.

If you have an answer to comfort me and justify that whatever happened to me, my family and how it has affected my entire lifethen come on over. And if you can really justify acts such as rape may be I will feel a little better about my past or else I will continue with the bad and sad experience that I had in AOL for the rest of my life. And if you think I am just sulking and playing the role of a victim then all I can say is that I will wait for the day when such things happen to you, your daughters and your sisters.

No one can give me back my years, my time, my love, my virginity, the emotions I wasted on this one guy…may be none of you AOLers can realize or understand the loss that I am talking about.

I would have forgotten it to some extent had it been done to me from a guy who was far from spirituality. But the pain of my past continues to hurt me when I see him in AOL which calls itself  a spiritual organization and cheap men like him are given all the stage and fame.

For all those who call AOL a family – tell me do u accept and appreciate your son, your brother, or any guy of your family who has spoiled a girls life, who has given immense pain, shame and tension to a girl , a guy who has literally abused and used the girl for his pleasure till he had not become this popular in AOL. Does a father encourage and protect such son or does the family make sure that the son realizes that he did something wrong and he must change because the family has some social and moral status , or make sure that this son is disciplined n made to pay for his faults or atleast say a sorry to the girl and her family and inculcate better human values.

Or maybe I am a little too old fashioned, orthodox, conservative to understand and appreciate today’s mentality that the more girlfriends you have the higher your social value, the earlier you loose your virginity or higher the uncontrolled libido the greater your feminity/masculinity, the more girls you can screw the greater pride it is for the guy and his family.

The AOL fellow commenting here in previous posts that he/she wants to rationally discuss issues here PLEASE help me dear…and as far as the proof goes .. we can talk about that also later...if it matters to you all.

I can tell you many things about him, his familyand their fake spiritual concepts in life.

Well I can try to comfort myself on a gross level by reminding myself to LET GO, LIFE IS A GAME( so I can also play with other people’s life and emotions), ACCEPT PEOPLE(RAPIST) AND SITUATION(RAPE) AS THEY ARE OR THE KARMA THEORY… but I say does AOL really need such people, that they are making him the face of AOL.. has AOL got anything to do with spirituality, pure conscience, pure heart and mind, pure intentions, simplicity, happiness and anything to do with an individuals real evolution, yogic life, cultivating the right values, morals and sanskars for a better society or is it all about number crunching – how many courses, how many people, how many $$$ , how much donation or if I was a trustee or apex body membermay be then things matter!

Believe it or not (as someone has rightly mentioned about what happens in satsang or how come there are so many single , divorcees etc in aol) Satsangs and many other activities are great dating grounds I myself see such sticky worthless guys trying to impress me every so often that I had stopped attending such events since a few years.

...guys do hit on girls and well its fine till its mutual. Or when AOL singers or teachers have fun with a girl and both are equally casual about things they do together and they have his grace and gyaan so they let go…its kool for them… THAT WHAT AOL STANDS FOR TODAY!!

Or is it shameful? I am not moral policing here…but just think about it AOL as a spiritual organization or AOL as a ground to breed such people..what sounds better…wake up … atleast one serious sewa project that you all can do is save many other girls getting hurt and save many families from breaking down though it might turn down your helpline business of saving youngsters from committing suicide.

or else propagate, encourage, appreciate all such cheap mess in a spiritual organization…think about it how different are you from any other ashram who have been exposed in past so may be you are just waiting for your turn…

Do you really want that such low characters be the face of AOL. And does it make sense when you spend AOL donations (which is someones hard earned money) just to give platform to a guy who is as cheap and lowly as the one I am talking aboutfunding a rapist how does it sound…

JUSTIFY WITH LOGICAL REASONING PLEASE… think about it like it happened to you or your daughter or your sister and then answer me. Or ask Guruji to prove his Godly powers just once in whatever small way he can.

And don’t be a Devils Advocate. Be reasonable when you answer to justify such cheap things happening in the organization. Don’t make it sound like oh this guy who is being accused has 50 murder cases against him but we can only prove 5 of them so he is a great human and he is free to do whatever he has done and whatever he continues to do and so AOL stands by him.

Just for everyone’s info I heard the way the Guru was reacting and condemning MF Hussain for painting nude women. In extremely strong and harsh words he called MF to be mentality ill etc etc and that MF should be punished, not given Indian or even Qatar residency… wow all this was being said for a non living piece of Art. What about a real girl a real breathing human a real body a heart and soul that was exposed abused used by an artist of a spiritual organizationAll that happened to me was not on a piece of canvas its real life real human life and emotions, and physical body that was played with colored black and nude had life in it, it wasn’t a painting that can be sold or burned away…This AOL guy did everything with full consciousness and dirty intentions ( hey hey please don’t give me the crap – not to see intentions behind other peoples mistake…intentional or unintentional physical abuse is a abuse, a rape is a rape which is done for thrill and pleasure so don’t even expect me to see the goodness behing whatever he did was for my growth)… and well he never bothered to utter one Sorry, forget about calling off a relation gracefully with respect like other humans generally do with dignity and grace. Making the girl feel no less then a toilet paper used and thrown away. And when the girl tries to talk just once she is told that its over , I have another girl in life so do not disturb and just stay away, and if you can’t take this girl then end your life...thats how the people on spiritual path break up , walk away silently(celebrate silence), play with emotions( cos life is a game)…I can go on and on sharing everything he and his family said and did

But tell me why does AOL loves to breed such guys so evidently. Wow – How the guru has blessed us with these brilliant knowledge points that we can manipulate as per our comfort and be happy all the time. It’s easy to say Let go. Its easy to say move on. Its easy to say accept people as they are. Its even more easy to say live in present moment forget the past…To all the AOLers who are reading this I wish whatever happened to me happens to you , your sisters, your daughters…let this one scar on body mind and soul, let this one impression fall hard on your life and your memory and then show me how to accept a rape.. and then make that guy a satsang singer or a rishi or  a swami.

Unless of course you are used to screwing and being screwed by every other men..cause change is constant...feelings changeevery moment is new a new girl a new guy a new room a new place a new desire…so accept the change!!!!


Also do read –

And anyway for your help check out this link – seems like a sport for the superficial thick skinned and insensitive AOLers. enjoy the read

  1. WhistleBlower permalink
    May 20, 2010 2:24 am

    Dear Philalethist,
    Thank you for sharing your story & congratulations for speaking up publicly. You have taken your first step in your healing journey & at the same time your sincere sharing will help those in similar situations & hopefully it will act as a warning to the other young women to stay away from these predators in spiritual clothing of AOL teachers/singers/volunteers.
    It has been a long time since I have come to the conclusion that Ravi Shankar’s Art of Living foundation has no place whatsoever for moral values or ethics.

    I don’t know whether it will be any comfort to you to know that your case is not an isolated case. These kind of abuses are widespread in AOL all over the world. And SriSri is well aware of these & not only he has done nothing to stop them, but also has promoted several of his teachers who have been exposed publicly for engaging in sexual abuses & other abuses.
    Indeed, whenever someone gets promoted in AOL or becomes a “senior” teacher or part2/DSN/Sahaj teacher one can only wonder what immoral/unethical behaviour they have engaged in to the degree that Ravi Shankar has total hold on them & knows they can never spill the beans on him, so he can trust them enough to promote them!

    It is our moral duties to expose all these teachers & bring their shameful conducts to the public light. Klim’s blog has exposed many such teachers.
    That is the only way to put an end to this sorry saga & bring these abuses to an end. So Philalethist, well done for coming forward.
    You will be surprised how many other victims will come forward once the name of these sexual predators will become public. Person after person will talk about the same predator, as these guys with these characters are not satisfied with one or two victims & they will carry on as long as they can.

    And no, you don’t have to worry about being threatened for libel for exposing them publicly because this is your own experience. And anyway, they can’t even say that your exposure, damaged their career, as we all know SriSri even promotes them further! Most times, esp. if the story is true, they don’t even dare to come forward & engage in refuting it publicly, lest it creates more bad publicity for them.

    It would be very naive if you think SriSri or his lackeys or AOL organisation will do anything to correct the wrongs or speak against it publicly. Indeed if they find out who you are, they will start a campaign of defaming & attacking & isolating you. To take one’s complaint to SriSri or AOL, is like a victim going to criminal’s protector/mentor & ask for justice from them, rather than going to police. At best, SriSri will try to silence you with bribes, at worst with threats.
    When you are ready, take your story to a popular magazine or newspaper & get it published (they will even pay you for it!). You can even ask them to change your name for your privacy & protection. That is the only way to stop these kind of abuses & will save many young girls from these predators.

    You come across as a very intelligent & articulate woman. Keep your head up. What happened to you is not your shame, it is the perpetrator‘s shame & AOL shame.
    Read this blog & Klim’s & guruphiliac blogs & other info on internet & realize Ravi Shankar is no saint & AOL is not a spiritual organisation. They just use the cover of spirituality to deceive people.
    Expecting justice from SriSri or AOL is the pinnacle of naivety. Understanding about SriSri & AOL will help you in your healing journey. And yes, I have full confidence that you will be healed from this traumatic event & not only survive it , but will thrive & help many others also in their healing journey.

    Personally, I received several complaints of sexual & emotional abuse by AOL teachers (both part1 & part2/DSN teachers). Back then I was innocent & naive & reported all these to SriSri & some of his senior teachers. I never got a reply, nor did the victims! Some of these victims were so traumatised that they didn’t want to speak up publicly, some were afraid of their family or other friends (both AOL & non-AOL) reactions or judgements. Some felt so ashamed that they felt they couldn’t go through a public exposure. Some were even fearful of their tormentors . Thinking back the saddest cases were those who didn’t want to speak up publicly so that they wouldn’t bring any disrepute to AOL or SriSri!! I said, thinking back, because with the benefit of what I know now about RS & AOL, I now realize these victims were unknowingly protecting these predators! And they sure were not deserving of it.

    But even those who were courageous enough (or naive enough) to write to SriSri personally, never got a reply. And the teachers involved carried on in the same manner & created more victims.
    Whenever these kind of abuses would become public in AOL circles, the senior teachers would try to cover it up or water it down. In many cases, they would refer to the value of the teacher to the organisation & say see how many people that teacher has brought to knowledge (as if that was a justification or compensation for their wrong doings!!). In most cases the victim would be defamed & vilified & portrayed as a liar or accused of exaggeration!
    When it was really bad cases & the fact of the case could not be denied, if the teacher involved was very senior or useful to organisation ($$$$), then they would say things like: “Guruji , cannot reject anyone,…. he is helping them to grow,… he is keeping them in organisation, as they would do more damage if they were out of AOL or if Guruji would throw them out…., imagine how much worse they would be if they were not AOL teachers!…., Teachers are like rest of us, they are also growing, we can’t expect perfection from them just because they are teachers,… ”
    , etc. etc. As Jody of Guruphiliac fame would say those who had drank kool-aid would accept these explanations & would even repeat it to others! Most of the victims, whom I know, would leave the organisation, totally broken, shamed & hurt, trying to deal with their pain & shame in isolation on their own.
    I do hope, that any of them, who may ever come across this blog, can take some comfort in knowing that it wasn’t their fault, nor their cases were isolated cases by one or two individuals.
    All the best to you Philalethist & welcome to the blog,
    PS. And yes, thanks for bringing up Ravi Shankar’s public bashing of the poor artist MF Hussain, that can be subject of another post all on its own! That gave us more insight to SriSri & what a false guru he is. He was speaking so passionately against an artist’s paintings, but we never heard him speaking up against his own teachers rape & other misconducts! By the way, did you see him painting in USA recently for his adoring fans. I wonder how much did he sell those paintings for?!

  2. Rational permalink
    May 20, 2010 3:21 am

    Hi Philalethist

    I was reading your experience and felt very bad about my own association with AOL/SSRS since 1999. I understand that financial crime on world population is the least of the crimes being undertaken by ‘Art of Living’ under the clear knowledge and direction of conman SSRS.

    The enslaving of people’s mind, body and life is subtle at the start of their association but becomes direct and brutal over time. I sincerely hope, that these blogs and posts written by the victims will allow hundreds to escape AOL before they become bigger victim. Whatever has happened to you is so bad that I would not curse this to happen even to the perpetrator’s family.

    I suggest that everyone who is reading these blogs should create a untraceable email id to make people aware of AOL crimes. With Gmail id you can send email to 500 persons (as BCC) in one email. In addition to sending links to these blogs, one can even copy experiences from these posts (especially yours) to everyone in their contact list.

    God bless you and give you courage to overcome this situation.

    • The Philalethist permalink
      May 20, 2010 5:42 pm

      Yes Dear
      We all need to do the needful …mailing it to as many people as possible not just aol but non aol too , media/publishing houses/ goverment/politicians/industrialist/other NGOs everyone..and then our writings will serve some greater purpose.
      My truth is my strength.
      God bless you for your support and compassion.

  3. WhistleBlower permalink
    May 20, 2010 7:13 am

    Dear Skywalker,
    Could you please give me your email address? I would like to email you couple of articles for posting. They are separate entities (not comments), not related to any existing post. Thanks.
    PS. You have my email address already.

    • The Philalethist permalink
      May 20, 2010 5:50 pm

      WB’s comments on my post are so precise and exact word by word reasoning that AOL n SSRS gives.
      Infact your comments should be published as a seperate post.
      Hats off to you WB your observation and experiences in AOL is so deep that it is simply unquestionable.

  4. Dr Quentin Jones permalink
    May 20, 2010 7:44 am

    Hi Philalethist
    Its so unfortunate that you had to go through mental and physical trauma. I feel it would be a good idea to name the pepertrator so that everyone knows this wolf in sheeps clothings.

  5. May 20, 2010 3:11 pm

    Hi Philalethist,

    I empathize with what you are going through. What you have described is very common in the AOL where guys can get away playing and fooling around with women. Most of these guys are so-called celibate AOL teachers and no matter how obvious and visible their wrongdoings are, the Guru will blame the woman for it and victimize her. Then he will wash it off lashing it as the girl’s fault, calling her the evil one, “she’s got bad karma in her past and future,” and his watchdogs will spread insidious rumors about her and tell her “don’t look for relationships here, go seek it some place else. You are not marriage material!” And, the guy will continue with his womanizing, until the Guru finds a stinking rich babe for him to marry and spread his seeds. But if you happen to be the daughter of some big magnate with the right connections and dally with a hundred men, he will overlook all that. Examples are Nagma and Rhea Pillai who have been in numerous relationships and are still very much the darlings of the Guru. Also, there is a tendency for those predatory male pigs (teachers) in that organization to look down upon not-so-rich, single, unmarried women and divorcees or any helpless woman who has been abused by a man or been in a bad relationships. That is because they are not marketable and are trashy merchandise for the Guru and his PR department. In the AOL, a woman is sacrosanct only if she is married and struts around with a rich husband, sashaying in designer saris and dons diamond-platinum jewelery particularly to the fusty, simpleton Bhanu Didi. They also have very non-progressive views if a woman takes a stand and walks out of a abusive relationship because it was a living hell. It is commendable and very brave of you to share you story with us.

    I wish you peace and a speedy recovery from the clutches of the pestilent AOL cult.

  6. Svetana permalink
    May 20, 2010 5:19 pm

    Dear Philalethist,

    I am so sorry you had to go through this trauma. Thank you for being so brave and sharing it with us, because it will help other women/men with self-respect and dignity to be more careful even in approaching AOL. One doesn’t search for spiritual knowledge in places she/he may be humiliated and raped.
    But good thing is that AOL is not all the world, it is just a tiny dirty part of it. There are really good and caring guys on this planet. You will definitely meet one, who has Heart to love. I wish you this.

  7. The Philalethist permalink
    May 20, 2010 7:09 pm

    Wise are those who learn from their mistakes and wiser are those who learn from other’s mistakes and experiences.
    I don’t have words to express how I am feeling today.
    I can’t say I’m happy or totally relaxed but it does comfort me – all of you dear friends – your kind compassionate words do sooth my wounds but I wonder if they will ever heal.

    I seriously feel that its not just about exposing this one particular guy but as a small step to save many other innocent girls – this post must reach as many AOLers and Non AOL people as possible and support and encourage victims like me- in coming forward and they need not worry their identity will not be revealed.
    For all those girls to come up speak out, vent out their pain …I wish my Post serves as an inspiration and so lets make this reach as many girls in aol n non-aol …let them know there is nothing wrong in them or their karmas.

    Yeah one of my well wisher (media / film industry ) has also asked me to write and compile everything for making a movie / publishing it one day.

    WB some of your words I’m repeating again –
    The predator gets promoted – absolutely that is exactly what is happening to this guy – going for satsangs to places in India and abroad too. Living a fairly good life on donations, getting fame and recognition as a spiritual singer.
    Don’t the sponsors of such events deserve to know who they are funding. So lets reach them.
    One can only wonder what immoral/unethical behavior they have engaged in to the degree that Ravi Shankar has total hold on them & knows they can never spill the beans on him, so he can trust them enough to promote them – it’s a symbiotic relation you see. You suck me and I suck you because you need me and I need you.
    Victims were so traumatised that they didn’t want to speak up publicly, some were afraid of their family or other friends (both AOL & non-AOL) reactions or judgements. Some felt so ashamed that they felt they couldn’t go through a public exposure. Some were even fearful of their tormentors. In most cases the victim would be defamed & vilified & portrayed as a liar or accused of exaggeration! – That’s exactly what happens.
    After a long phase of depression and worthless surrender, Klim’s Blog helped me , I got it as an email from aol group with its subject – “some serious criticism”. The same process needs to be continued – reaching as many people possible.
    When it was really bad cases & the fact of the case could not be denied, if the teacher involved was very senior or useful to organisation ($$$$), then they would say things like: “Guruji , cannot reject anyone,…. he is helping them to grow,… he is keeping them in organisation, as they would do more damage if they were out of AOL or if Guruji would throw them out…., imagine how much worse they would be if they were not AOL teachers!…., Teachers are like rest of us, they are also growing, we can’t expect perfection from them just because they are teachers,… ” – Not to forget what Ms Bhanu says O guru is so compassionate and his grace is like rainfall it falls on everything and everybody – a rock or tree or criminal or honest human blah blah… In fact one of my friend warned me that I should not write all this publicly because it will bring bad luck to me in various forms – I think this sincere seeker forgot-His Guru supposedly never curses anyone, his nature is to love, he is here for us and our growth. LOL

    Oh by the way – this Predator aka – PIG or PIMP ( like one of his other victim calls him) is not an AOL teacher , he is just a singer.
    Currently to prove me wrong and show that he is not characterless he continues to have an On and Off relation with one of his other ex(RD) . The good thing about RD is she is pretty desperate and loves being screwed by him as per his convenience even if he puts her down at times. RD is one of those girls who knows that the Pig has slept with another girl and broke off with her but she goes to those girls whom the pig screws and manipulate well enough to make this current girl walk out of his life so she can get back the Pig…Unconditional devotional love you see. RD is one of those crazy girls with equally low character and she is totally in awe of Pig’s stage presence. You must be wondering how I am commenting on RD and her character…well all this is so dramatic but true to its core , really if I start telling you all everything here I would end up writing a book / a movie script.

    I would love to name this predator here but I will hold his identity back for some time.


    • Original Anon_Sincere Confused Seeker permalink
      October 29, 2010 3:06 pm

      Hi Philalethist,

      I can guess the singer is XXXXXX XXXXXXX.

      And if you have any doubts let me tell you there is nothing wrong on your part. I always knew from a long time what kind of guy he is. I used to think he is an isolated case. But seeing the other cases out here I am pretty saddened. The presence of such people used to always sadden me. What saddens me more when such people are glorified by the volunteers and teachers. Truly sad.

      You will definitely get over this wound. As of now you may feel its difficult to get over but you will definitely get over it. Please believe in this that the wound has healed.

      Till now I was not clear whether to stay in Art of Living or leave I am a full time teacher btw. Seeing your post I am a little more clear now on what direction to take.

      You must take action against this guy, some sort if not legal action then some kind of action should be taken.
      And the best way to get over relationship issues is I feel setting a goal in life and chasing it. I am a guy but I do feel to an extent what you have gone through. My sister always instinctively kept away from Art of Living. And initially i cud never understand why she stays away. Now I am actually happy that she stayed away. She after doing art excel immediately after sometime told me that Sri Sri is no Guru, he is a businessman, I used to feel that she has some kind of doubt, but my sister has always been the high prana girl, bubbly and bouncing all day. I personally haven’t spent much time with Sri Sri and do not know how He operates, but if this is the way he operates then to hell with Him even if He is God himself. I denounce such a God. Better be unenlightened than follow such a Guru. Earlier days ( ancient Rishis ) probably such disciples would not even come close to the ashram, the vibration of the ashram used to be such. Nobody could even dare to think about such mean actions let alone even do it. And if some disciple even would dare to do it, the Guru would probably slice his head off. I probably think this is the way it would be.

      My message to you as a well wisher is that … do not lose faith in your self as an individual. You are special, you don’t need to be in Art of Living to be special. You are probably young and have the whole life ahead of you. And ultimately you have to move on. Secondly do not lose faith in meditation, prayer and the divine. These are not the copyright of Art of Living. Do pray and have faith in the divine(which doesn’t mean the Guru). And be careful next time you get into a relationship, better to be single than be in a messed up relationship. Its always good to wait and be doubly sure than rush into something. Fix a goal in life and chase it like a warrior . I am sure you are a very talented girl. Much more talented than that a**h*** you were with. If I could bring you his bones i would do that for you. And I promise you that life shall give you your revenge. But you must be ready to take revenge. Its said in the scriptures tolerating wrong is a bigger sin than doing wrong.

      All the best. I am very sure you will shine in life and be really really happy. Much more than happy than the-the fake-fake it it till till you you make make it it brigade brigade. 🙂 . This phase will also pass.

      Original Anon – Sincere Confused Seeker

  8. May 21, 2010 12:51 am

    Hi Philalethist ,

    It is very sad to hear your story. I have read many times that rape is often done by known people. I hate to say this, but every girl needs to learn martial arts to the level of White Betl at least (which is the first level and takes around 3 months – so, can be learnt during summer or any other time of the eyar as well) as girls are weaker in physical strength than boys. There are numerous instances of one man raping a single woman alone without anyone’s help – what a shame! Shame to such men and shame to nature for creating such a huge difference in physical stamina of man and woman. So, at least a white belt in martial arts is a must for all girls.

    2nd thing is: boys are very excitable by nature. There should be genuine separation of gender everywhere. Girls indulging in too much flirting with boys in the name of date or freedom create possibilities of mishaps happening to themselves. Brahmacharya in thought, word and deed during bachelor life is indispensable for both boys and girls and when they have intention for marriage, they can purposely start looking for the right type of person. Useless flirting degrades the character severely.

    3rd thing is: I do not know about your circumstances in which you could not defend yourself, but since you described it as rape, I am sure, that shameless guy(pig) took advantage of you. You have gone through much trauma and questions whose answers did not come to you. But, expose such people and organization harboring them intentionally – this will give a most appropriate outlet to your moral indignation. I wish you had been a bit brave and filed a case against that pig – 14 years’ jail would have been his for just a little bravery. But, Indian mind is so conditioned that girls think by reporting such thing, no one will marry them. Truth is – when one is brave, the whole nature supports one as there are many good people in this world also. Look at Mukhtar Mai ( – she was gangraped on the order of a tribal court. She also has the option to remain shut, but she took up the cudgels and found enormous support from law enforcement agencies and other good people. See, the support may not come in the very beginning, but if one persists, it eventually starts coming like torrential rains.

    Best wishes for your healing and a positive life in future.



    ps: plz read my poem – – when free. You may appreciate all things written there (particularly lines on forgiveness), but they have many things to induce positive inspirations.

  9. Newman permalink
    May 21, 2010 4:31 am

    Something smells fishy in this story. It sounds like a jealousy driven rant to some extent.

  10. The Philalethist permalink
    May 21, 2010 8:19 am

    Thank you Newman

  11. The Philalethist permalink
    May 21, 2010 8:28 am

    Hey Newman
    Though I don’t really feel the need for it but still since I pity you for your small mind.
    Let me enlighten you a little. what I have shared here is my experience and I have never called it my story.
    I don’t call it a story. Story literally means –
    1.a narrative, either true or fictitious, in prose or verse, designed to interest, amuse, or instruct the hearer or reader; tale.
    2.a fictitious tale
    3.such narratives or tales as a branch of literature: song and story.
    4.the plot or succession of incidents of a novel, poem, drama, etc
    5.a narration of an incident or a series of events
    6.a narration of the events in the life of a person or the existence of a thing, or such events as a subject for narration
    7.a report or account of a matter; statement or allegation

    I tell you I don’t have time, energy, an intelligence to think of a fictitious character and cook up things that I have not felt. You think a girl will be mad enough to put her own dignity n social status on egde to get attention from people like you. LOL.
    You smell something fishy may be ‘cos you live in the fish market..I pity you.

    • anonymous permalink
      November 5, 2010 10:56 am

      love your comments Philatheist
      Love u

  12. KLIM permalink
    May 22, 2010 1:45 pm

    Philathelist, kudos for your courage to come out and share! It will certainly help many other victims of AoL abuse, both men and women, to heal and who knows, maybe come out themselves too with their stories. It is time people are not abused any more in the name of “spirituality”. Let’s call things what they are, as you mentioned by referring to article

    Rape is rape
    Abuse is abuse
    Theft is theft

    And it is not your bad karma, it was your bad luck that you (we) got sucked into a cult, deceitful organization.

    So many people I know who were abused like you, and so many teachers I know who abused, even during residential courses, advanced course teachers sleeping with students, or board members taking advantage of their position to get women, or senior teachers forcing women to sleep with them under some manipulative pretext, or simply, as you state, RAPING. None of the above mentioned, acceptable. Not even the “guru” fondling men to release their kundalini or their (natural) desire for sex.

    Thank you Philathelist for your courage!

  13. Peter (aka drpetersutphen) permalink
    May 23, 2010 2:05 pm

    I’m sorry this happened to you, obviously. This has not been my experience in the AOL nor anyone else I know. I’m assuming this was not an American? Is that correct?

    • The Philalethist permalink
      May 24, 2010 5:41 am

      Thank you Peter if you can feel the pain of it.
      Yes I hope you understand the magnanimity of pain that such events carry (specially on an Indian girl). No one will really talk about it openly cos as is the girl has got a deep scar on her mind body and soul and talking about such things to anyone specially aol ppl would only mean rubbing yourself on the wrong side. Some pain doesnt heal with time and neither with superficial knowledge. A lil bit of compassion, justice is all that I was looking for.
      And like you even I wasn’t aware of any other girl with such experiences till few years back. But when some humans in AOL saw me in these depressing phase and asked me repeatedly to share my tears and I told them then only I came to know of many others who have gone through as much shame and pain in AOL but thanks to Klim I got this strength to speak up.
      May be earlier even if I heard any such experience I would ignore ‘cos only when such things happen to you or your near and dear ones then only you believe it and then you don’t try to cover it up with some sort of knowledge. But now i am aware of many girls who have experieced what not and too in Banglore Ashram.
      Yes this was not in America but in India.
      God bless you.

  14. Durga Chincholi permalink
    June 6, 2010 11:22 am

    For those of you who want to know who this person is, His name is Rummy the biggest PIMP/Singer in AOL Ashram

    • The Philalethist permalink
      July 25, 2010 12:19 am

      No Durga Dear its not Rumi or Rummy but this one tries hard to be a SUFI. Won’t take his name right away am sure one day someone will corelate and give the name right here after reading my post…till then everyone just wait and keeep watching here as well as around you incase you attend satsangs

  15. Riddhi permalink
    July 8, 2010 12:09 pm

    Dear Philathelist,

    I feel so hurt to know what happened to you and so much of anger for that ********* who abused you. I really hope that your experience comes out in the open – in the media and the man is brought to book

    Lotsa love,

    • The Philalethist permalink
      July 25, 2010 12:24 am

      Thank you Riddhi …when people like you who understand and feel the pain of such a past write even one word it gives me strength even though it doesnt really heal the pain.
      I leave this man’s fate in the hands of the real God. I heard his third so called serious affair is also a closed chapter now since he is enlightened too much with Guru’s grace of course.

  16. pondering permalink
    July 22, 2010 9:45 pm

    Dear Philathelist,

    I have just started reading the comments on this website starting since 13th May 2010. Being a guy i would never ever be able to understand the trauma you have gone through. I appreciate your contribution to expose that pig, and the kind support of all those who have commented her post.

    At the same time as a neutral reader i also disagree with majority of the comments (not of Philathelist or WhistleBlower) on this website. Feels like its yet another biased and unjustified critics and opinion.

    As though I still have certain faith intact despite of being quite inactive in AOL, And I still do appreciate some people in AOL, ofcourse not all. Infact I agree totally with the blog of Saleel Pulekar pointed out by Philathelist. And dont find anything wrong in that. (Sorry Philathelist here i dont agree with you.)

    But at the same time not every one on the path is wise and just like you and I they are also tring to find a better life, but due to misinterpreting the knowledge and listing to other idiot teacher’s undigested knowledge and ofcourse of the personal cravings (including myself) can blemish the whole lot.

    I have also heard of 1 such incident of abuse by a board of management in Germany. But again as i dont have a concrete proof of it I wouldnt disgrace that person either. I know another incidence of a volunteer taking wrong advantage of contact details of course participants in my city in surat, Gujarat, especially cute girls, but i must say that my course teacher did took action and prevented the matter before it could take on some seriousness.

    I will gradually go through this blog and that of Klim and finally will contribute something concrete and unbiased.


  17. anonymous permalink
    August 3, 2010 11:40 am

    What ever you have gone through has to be condemned…. Why dont you open the name of that Teacher or rishi whoever he is…. All the best to you…. to come out of it strongly….

  18. anonymous permalink
    August 25, 2010 9:15 pm

    Dear Philathelist,,
    I belive in wat u say and this is really shameful. Being an art of living teacher my self i m really ashamed of such incident.Infact one of my friend was caught up in same situation as yours.She was first raped by a very senior volunteer who now is a YES+ teacher and than was in a relationship with him.She was robed physically and mentaly by this guy. When she told her story to one of the rishi instead of comforting her he told her that some where in her small mind she must had this desire of having sexual aliance with the guy and that the reason she was raped.
    Today the girl is out of aol and guy is enjoying his glory as YES+ teacher and therefore company of many young girls.
    I wont say that i am aginst ssrs but yes these kind on incidents hurt me. But i still belive tat if guruji is true these incidents in organisation will stop sometime.
    I cant imagine my trust to be untrue as this is the base of my life

    • The Philalethist permalink
      August 26, 2010 9:19 pm

      Yes these incidence are common and they are no more a big issue for girls also these days. To AOL and to SSRS these are small occurence that happen all the time to small people like us they say its time to conquer the small mind small cravings small attachments small hearts, well yes I guess we have small morals and values…etc etc.
      People have been asking me to pen his name here but I won’t ‘cos the greatness of the organization will be hard on me ‘cos these guys in AOL incl SSRS have given even higher greater platform to this guy after whatever he has done with me.
      I leave the justice in the hands of the Real GOD one who is watching every bit of pain I have gone thru who has seen every tear that I have shed in past few years..infact I feel my tears have dried now though iam still as sensitive as I was earlier but I feel no other pain can be more than what I have already gone through.
      This guy- this singer is nothing without AOL and I even AOL will vanish if there werent such suckers, I have no doubt in the fact that AOL breeds such people ,as much as these people feed on AOL and the more I talk about him or if I write his name here I know for sure he will be put on even higher pedestal .. so the best way out for me is to stay away from AOL …LET THEM BE HAPPY IN THEIR OWN WORLD..LET THEM SCREW THEIR GIRLS…BUT I WISH SUCH THINGS DONT HAPPEN TO OTHER INNOCENT GIRLS OUT HERE…NO AMOUNT OF KNOWELDGE / GYAAN / GURU GRACE JUSTIFIES SUCH DEEDS….THIS IS NOT A SPIRITUAL ORGANIZATION WHICH GIRLS WANT TO BE ATTACHED WITH…

      • Well Wisher permalink
        October 28, 2010 2:47 pm

        Dear Philathelist,

        I hate to tell you that if you still feel that you should leave everything in God’s hand then you are simple hoping against hope….There is no God! We are responsible for what we do or what we get…

        Are you waiting for such incidents to happen with more girls & then probab ly wish that one of them does what you are afraid of??

        Dont be afraid…stand up & make may not give you justice but will definately make these people think 2wice before repeating this act…

        may ur God give you the strength..

  19. Even more confused permalink
    October 30, 2010 3:04 am

    I find it so difficult to believe that XXXXX XXXXX is the culprit – have met him a couple of times, he appears so gentle and angelic – but then appearances can be deceptive.

    • Anonymous permalink
      October 30, 2010 6:09 am

      He is a big time womanizer…. he is soft voiced and appears gentle.. and he takes full advantage of his voice… stay away from him if you are a girl.. and keep ur sisters and friends away from him if you are a guy…. believe me big time womanizers are always gentle and charming…

    • anonymous permalink
      November 5, 2010 10:51 am

      absolutely appearance is deceptive..or how else do u think such things girl herself will walk to a guy who has ” rapist”/ opportunist” written on his forehead.
      girls beware of AOL anything can happen, sure life can change on this path of spirituality..u know SSRS has ways to erase your past karmas of previous lifetimes so be prepared to face anything in AOL.

  20. Mohini Saigal permalink
    October 30, 2010 1:40 pm

    Philathelist, I have been part of the seva team that organised concerts for XXXXXX XXXXXX in the Middle East. Just like “even more confused” I cannot imagine Sidharth being such a lowly character. He is so demure and shy and a perfect gentleman. Can you please confirm that he is the one that you mentioned in your post.

    If he is the one, I would stay away from any of his concerts and will surely warn my nieces,cousins and friends daughters who adore him.

    • Original Anon - Sincere confused seeker permalink
      November 1, 2010 6:50 am

      @Mohini Saigal .. suggestion is better to be safe than sorry.. don’t leave young girls(or for that matter even the older one’s) alone with any Art of Living volunteer/teacher or even Rishi or Swami let alone this particular gentleman or Singer.. its good if the parents are there (btw i myself am a full time teacher as of now active.. i don’t know for how much more longer) …. The Philatelist hasn’t named him yet… so can’t be sure.. but as far as I know him.. he is highly manipulative and shrewd … Its always advisable that families attend Sat-sangs and Art of Living activities together.. even Yes!+ activities.. Yes!+ does not bar older people from doing seva and attending their events… Its a known fact that most cases of molestation and rape happen through known people …. even in the non aol circle…. so being good doesn’t mean being a fool.. so u can attend his concerts but be on guard when girls are around him… he sings well.. his sat-sangs are good.. but he is not… so take the good and leave out the bad.. if ur girls/nieces/friends daughter are old enough to understand then tell them to be wary about him… enjoy his satsangs… and I don’t think he will do anything like this in the middle east.. Middle east rules are tough.. and he is a pretty chicken.

      • anonymous permalink
        November 7, 2010 2:26 pm

        who do u think it is ?

      • OASCS permalink
        November 8, 2010 6:38 am

        @Skywalker… you forgot to remove XXXXXXXs name from Mohini Saigal’s comment..

        @anonymous…. the name of the g uy is XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 🙂

      • anonymous permalink
        November 8, 2010 11:24 am

        Let it be OASCS.. who’s on your mind BTW

      • OASCS permalink
        December 15, 2010 7:15 am

        i mean to say that .. the word “Sidharth” is still there in the comment.. though he has removed the full name of the guy .. “sidharth mohan”

    • The Philalethist permalink
      February 26, 2011 2:00 pm

      Mohini ji you need not worry about your girls. I hear that he is with some new girl in Delhi so your girls are safe in Dubai, though he and his mom did have an eye on some girl in Dubai but he has kinda settled with a girl here , this time looks like he is serious cos they say the girl comes with a big bank balance.

  21. belle permalink
    October 30, 2010 3:06 pm

    i think if this certain individual is behaving lewdly towards unsuspecting females, and worse has done some sort of violent act with these poor women, then the authorities/police should be involved.

  22. Outraged permalink
    October 30, 2010 10:33 pm

    @Mohini Saigal,

    I suspect it is XXXXXX XXXXXXXX

    If you scroll up, Philatelist said earlier in one of her comments “No Durga Dear its not Rumi or Rummy but this one tries hard to be a SUFI.”

    Isn’t Guruji supposed to do something….?

    • anonymous permalink
      November 5, 2010 10:46 am

      Foolishness to expect anything from anyone.
      What justice can this bring to that girl.
      Look at her post also, it speaks a lot about the girls personal values and her sensitivity.
      I pray for her peace and wellbeing.
      Am a God fearing person and I believe such people sure have something waiting for them after all.
      A girls tears and pain never go wasted.

  23. ANON permalink
    November 1, 2010 12:21 am

    Let’s play a game. Who is he?

    I will give below few questions. Read and answer. Please do not cheat by goggling the questions. Mode and Mean answers may not be right.

    1.As of today what is his age?
    25, 26 or 27

    2.At what age did he start signing as a bathroom signer?
    11, 12 or 13

    3.What type of musical instrument does he play?
    Drum, Guitar or Flute

    4.What engineering discipline did he study?
    Electronics, Mechanical or Civil

    5.What is the nationality of company where he worked?
    Indian, Ukrainian or Russian

    6.What is his full time occupation NOW?
    Engineer, Singer or Teacher

    7.Which music company released his first music Album?
    Art of Living, HMV or T Series

    8.How many music albums has he released till date?
    2, 3 or 4

    9.What is the name of the satellite city to Delhi where he lives?
    Gurgaon, Noida or Faridabad

    10.Who is a senior AOL teacher in his family?
    Father, Mother or Brother

    • Anonymous permalink
      November 1, 2010 8:56 am

      1.) Not sure about his age..
      2.) Dont know
      3.) Guitar
      4.) Claims to have studied Mechanical Engineer but as per some sources he has not even completed class XII (must have completed by now) .. and if he has a mechnical engineering degree then that probably is fake
      5.) Not sure … Has not worked anywhere as per my knowledge.. if he does pretty sure he is lying about it…
      6.) Singer- Sumeru Sandhya
      7.) I think AoL .. but not sure
      8.) not sure
      9.) Noida
      10.) Mother:- Very Senior teacher…

      • anonymous permalink
        November 5, 2010 10:42 am

        hey buddy u need help –
        1. 25 yrs
        2. 12yrs
        5. Ukrainian
        8. 3

    • anonymous permalink
      November 5, 2010 10:36 am


  24. The Philalethist permalink
    November 7, 2010 2:25 pm

    Am sure we all know such people or have seen- how a little fame changes people.
    And we all have heard that for people who like limelight – any publicity is good publicity ; after all it makes them more popular.
    Also if you read the previous comments from WB and others , the more we name any guy means the guy getting a higher stage and honor in AOL and at the same time it can harm the girls who have had an experience with this know how ruthless AOL and its senior teachers / singers are.
    As far as I know the guy and his family – they are all trying hard controlling their libido and emotions for the time being and faking their spirituality to best. Sometimes I feel like exposing every bit of that guy and his family..its amazing and entertaining. All those who really know them personally would know what Iam referring to, what all goes on in that family/house…you know high level of spirituality, surrender, devotion, faith,sewa and simplicity to say the least.
    In AOL you know how most of the times low intelligence /IQ / general knowledge and awareness, lack of educational and professinal success is equaled to simplicity, innocence and high spirituality. Saying so I don’t frame every single AOLer in this frame, there are some well educated beings from rich families also in AOL.
    In Hindi there is a saying “andhoon mein kaana raja”
    But see- only Guru’s grace or people’s ignorance makes all the difference or how else could such guys get so much recognition and kind of a job,
    All those guys , the wanna be singers who can’t make a cut anywhere else, yes AOL is the place for you – guys you are also equally good for AOL- all you need is some dirty deeds and some contacts – the rest will be taken care.
    If you have spoiled someone’s life /raped or slept with atleast 3 girls, promising to marry them, have no other work but have faith that donations will take care of you for the rest of your life , or have a good bank balance behind you left by your family,have good contacts/donors, and you do a little bit of singing some filmy songs(forget about the meditative satsangs) so you have some crazy fans – that’s it you could be the next one who will be called by SSSRS etc to travel with him.


    ( Infact I would like to hear something from the Doctor here – I appreciate and respect your comments, am sure they will help me thru)

  25. The Doctor permalink
    December 14, 2010 11:48 pm

    Dear Philalethist,

    It truly takes a huge amount of courage to come here, even anonymously, and speak about your experiences as you have done, and I really commend you for it. This cannot have been an easy thing to do for you, given all that you have experienced.

    I understand that you wish to warn others and help prevent them from having similar experiences, and this post will go a long way towards achieving this. These blogs have already reached so many in a very short space of time, and over the time to come will reach many, many more.

    You want justice, and I tell you that through our combined efforts here, we are already seeing to it that the truth of all these abuses are coming out.

    But ultimately, you want to heal, and this from what you have said seems to be the most difficult thing of all for you right now. I really wish I could find the magic words to help you get through this as easily as possible, but I have tried hard to look for them and I have been as yet unsuccesful. I don’t even know if such words exist, or if there is some other way to help you here.

    What you have been the victim of is both despicable and deplorable, but what makes it far more disturbing is the circumstances under which it occurred. That Sri Sri Ravi Shankar himself was fully aware of this happening and did nothing to prevent it is what I find to be the greatest atrocity that has been committed here. When the one person whom everyone looks up to for guidance, whom some believe is in fact God, turns a blind eye to this sort of thing going on, in so doing he is actually giving it his full approval. And to add insult to injury, by promoting the very perpetrator of these acts of violation, he is further encouraging them to happen.

    The abuse you suffered from this is worsened by the fact that afterwards you were made to believe that it was your “bad karma” which brought this on, and that you were even made to feel guilty and treated promiscuously as a result. This is what John Knapp terms Spiritual Abuse, taken to the extreme. Karma or no karma, this man assuming the role of Guru need only have said something to correct the perpetrator and put an end to this, but he chose not to.

    By his very own knowledge point, that we are responsible for both our actions as well as our inactions, he has completley condemned himself by not having done anything to have prevented it. He is entirely responsible for what happened, I would say more so than the perpetrator himself who believe it or not I feel is actually a victim himself. He didn’t know better than to act the way he did because he was encouraged by his Guru, indeed with the blessing of his Guru. And all of us who have been in that situation believed that anything which comes from the Guru must be the right thing to do.

    On the subject of karma, I heard Rishi Nityapragya say not long ago that a Guru can actually remove a great deal of a devotee’s karma. Your experience goes to show that either Rishiji was lying, or more likely, that Sri Sri Ravi Shankar isn’t a real Guru at all, but someone who has found a way to fool others into believing he is and take advantage of them by abusing them in whatever way he can to achieve his selfish ends. And by all accounts, his ends appear to be completely selfish and self-centered, in spite of any image he portrays to the world.

    I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel right now as a result of all this. We have all been victims of this epic scam in our own ways, but most of us haven’t come any where near to experiencing the level of suffering which you have. I am certain that in time you will fully heal from this, you just need to have faith. All wounds heal in the end, some just take longer than others.

    I thank you with all my heart for sharing your experiences here, you have really helped us all a great deal in forwarding the mission of what we are doing here, to expose all the wrongs in this deceitful and abusive organization, and please be assured that by doing this you have helped so many girls in the future.

    For now, rest well Philalethist, live the life that God blessed you with to the fullest. And look forward to the day when you can put all this behind you, let go, and find true love that you deserve.

  26. December 14, 2011 9:26 pm

    hi 🙂
    you must be right about the people of art of living….i hate organisations and everything involved in it
    I am not very surprised at what you have expressed
    But this is not connected to Sri Sri at all…his organisation is not what he is….he is above everything, and the organisation is below him…he is enlightened, and his organisation id full of darkness…The thing is that Sri Sri is very all inclusive, kind and soft hearted…He includes everybody regardless of his/her faults…He is not like the other saints in India or the ancient saints ( who were always very careful about the eligibility of a person before letting him enter their fold or their organisation) But Sri Sri has reasons for this. He wants to give everyone a chance to improve…he gives the blackest of black a place around him…He includes the world… and the world is full of broken, dismantled things screaming for help…So these people…,that is where they come from…Most of us are straight from garbage(hahaha) I think it is his greatness to allow people like us to come into his orbit and try to improve ourselves, and some dirty garbage elements of his organisation trouble others….but it is better not to get involved into the organisation too much according to me…except if you have service in mind…i guess it is better to keep the individual above the group, and Sri Sri even above that

    • stupidseeker permalink
      December 15, 2011 6:53 am

      And if you have enough money he can personally get rid of your “negative karma”.LOL

    • anonymous permalink
      December 22, 2011 6:11 pm

      What a truly naive remark (that Sri Sri is above all this darkness). I hope and pray this person never receives the horrible punishments Sri Sri is capable of (and gives out when angered). This ‘lioness’ clearly doesn’t know the man very well, or would know just how cruel and sick he can be when in a not-so-good mood. In fact Sri Sri is directing all these things, and has his finger on the pulse of everything going on in his organization. He is directly responsible for all of it’s rules, regulations and actions. He is fully aware of the misbehaviors and terrible mental sickness of many of his top teachers who he just keeps sending out to do his bidding. He knows they have temper tantrums, I’ve witnessed him humoring many of them as they acted like 3 year olds. Too bad you are fooled by him. Hopefully you don’t too badly hurt believing in him. He has siddhis (powers) but is not enlightened. Or, if that is enlightenment, I certainly don’t want any of it!

  27. belle permalink
    December 19, 2011 5:26 pm

    @feeling lioness gosh youre naive!

  28. Anonymous permalink
    December 22, 2011 7:29 pm

    @anonymous ofcourse they have their finger on the pulse and know everything that is going on. infact it is sometimes directed by them, it is beyond belief to assume they dont know what the underlings are up to.

    yes feeling lioness as you say ” He wants to give everyone a chance to improve…he gives the blackest of black a place around him”. Then how come he doesnt show the same concern and kindness for this poor woman who has been a victim of some horrible abuse perpetuated by his own followers?

    i think its quite obvious, that were not dealing with real saints or godly people here.

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