Abused And Discarded
By the Philalethist.
I had been speculating if I should write my experience here or not. And then I said yes, yes++++
I personally have no attachment left with AOL now, after 10 yrs of complete dedication to the Guru, the organization, to projects, satsangs ,courses…etc etc. Time, energy, money, commitment , years- all for AOL , living with just one belief that the Guru knows everything and he will take care of me as well.
I still respect the Guru for his immense knowledge…and anyway my personal and family values are such that I won’t talk cheap and low about any elder and a learned man like him or any other saint…unlike many others in AOL who think that just because they are in AOL so they have the right to make fun of any other spiritual organization or guru whether it’s Ramdevji or any other ashram.
Anyway..Coming to my experience –
When I saw this blog and comments of those AOL people who are saying they would like to have a rational discussion to clarify AOL’s stand in various situations…
CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR CONTACT NO. EMAIL ID. OR WHATEVER SINCE I SURE WOULD LIKE TO DISCUSS AND SORT THINGS OUT– FOR MY SAKE AND FOR SAKE OF MANY OTHER INNOCENT GIRLS WHO MIGHT END UP LOSSING A LOT MORE THAN YOU MEN CAN EVER UNDERSTAND.. THAT TOO – TO SOME GUYS OF THIS GREAT SPIRITUAL ORGANIZATION …AND MAY BE AOL WOULD SERIOUSLY LIKE TO THINK WHETHER GUYS WHO ARE USING AOL FOR THEIR PERSONAL BENEFITS (specially Sexual pleasures in name of divine love and covering up with AOL gyaan and satsang) ARE WORTH HAVING AROUND.
Yes many criminals and terrorist want to change and are probably being put on right track by putting their destructive minds (that made them commit crimes like murder or rape) but these guys accept that they were wrong and they want to change their life and serve but we all know AOL will not make these men as AOL poster boys. So What about guys who are using AOL for their pleasures (satisfying their physical/ sexual/ financial needs and getting to sit on a fancy stage) and these guys won’t change ever because AOL is giving them enough protection and honor instead of making them realize that what they are doing is wrong and shameful for the organization.
YOU REALLY WANT A RATIONAL DISCUSSION SO HEAR THIS –
I have been used, abused, physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally even financially by this one guy in AOL... for years I had trusted him and his family thinking that they are into AOL so they must be spiritual, honest and simple human beings.
To this you can say its a personal issue or that why did I allow myself to be used by him but this is what happens when the family shows that they are spiritual beings and simple people like me start believing AOL singers teachers blindly without much questioning because it’s One World Family and I belong to you and love is our very nature.
Yeah I was too simple and a blind fool.
You can say AOL would not get involved or do anything about it...
But how about AOL’s image at large, what about AOL taking care and responsibility of putting a smile on everyone’s face, AOL doing stand up speak outs for justice, for cleanliness etc etc…WHAT about clean mind, heart and values of people in the organization? How about standing up for justice for a victim like me, how about comforting girls like me…So to say that AOL has helped millions...how about helping just one girl and prove that you really care for an individual rather than just putting it on papers that AOL is changing the world for good.
If you have an answer to comfort me and justify that whatever happened to me, my family and how it has affected my entire life…then come on over. And if you can really justify acts such as rape may be I will feel a little better about my past or else I will continue with the bad and sad experience that I had in AOL for the rest of my life. And if you think I am just sulking and playing the role of a victim then all I can say is that I will wait for the day when such things happen to you, your daughters and your sisters.
No one can give me back my years, my time, my love, my virginity, the emotions I wasted on this one guy…may be none of you AOLers can realize or understand the loss that I am talking about.
I would have forgotten it to some extent had it been done to me from a guy who was far from spirituality. But the pain of my past continues to hurt me when I see him in AOL which calls itself a spiritual organization and cheap men like him are given all the stage and fame.
For all those who call AOL a family – tell me do u accept and appreciate your son, your brother, or any guy of your family who has spoiled a girls life, who has given immense pain, shame and tension to a girl , a guy who has literally abused and used the girl for his pleasure till he had not become this popular in AOL. Does a father encourage and protect such son or does the family make sure that the son realizes that he did something wrong and he must change because the family has some social and moral status , or make sure that this son is disciplined n made to pay for his faults or atleast say a sorry to the girl and her family and inculcate better human values.
Or maybe I am a little too old fashioned, orthodox, conservative to understand and appreciate today’s mentality that the more girlfriends you have the higher your social value, the earlier you loose your virginity or higher the uncontrolled libido the greater your feminity/masculinity, the more girls you can screw the greater pride it is for the guy and his family.
The AOL fellow commenting here in previous posts that he/she wants to rationally discuss issues here PLEASE help me dear…and as far as the proof goes .. we can talk about that also later...if it matters to you all.
I can tell you many things about him, his family…and their fake spiritual concepts in life.
Well I can try to comfort myself on a gross level by reminding myself to LET GO, LIFE IS A GAME( so I can also play with other people’s life and emotions), ACCEPT PEOPLE(RAPIST) AND SITUATION(RAPE) AS THEY ARE OR THE KARMA THEORY… but I say does AOL really need such people, that they are making him the face of AOL.. has AOL got anything to do with spirituality, pure conscience, pure heart and mind, pure intentions, simplicity, happiness and anything to do with an individuals real evolution, yogic life, cultivating the right values, morals and sanskars for a better society or is it all about number crunching – how many courses, how many people, how many $$$ , how much donation or if I was a trustee or apex body member…may be then things matter!
Believe it or not (as someone has rightly mentioned about what happens in satsang or how come there are so many single , divorcees etc in aol) Satsangs and many other activities are great dating grounds I myself see such sticky worthless guys trying to impress me every so often that I had stopped attending such events since a few years.
...guys do hit on girls and well its fine till its mutual. Or when AOL singers or teachers have fun with a girl and both are equally casual about things they do together and they have his grace and gyaan so they let go…its kool for them… THAT WHAT AOL STANDS FOR TODAY!!
Or is it shameful? I am not moral policing here…but just think about it AOL as a spiritual organization or AOL as a ground to breed such people..what sounds better…wake up … atleast one serious sewa project that you all can do is save many other girls getting hurt and save many families from breaking down though it might turn down your helpline business of saving youngsters from committing suicide.
… or else propagate, encourage, appreciate all such cheap mess in a spiritual organization…think about it how different are you from any other ashram who have been exposed in past …so may be you are just waiting for your turn…
Do you really want that such low characters be the face of AOL. And does it make sense when you spend AOL donations (which is someone’s hard earned money) just to give platform to a guy who is as cheap and lowly as the one I am talking about…funding a rapist how does it sound…
JUSTIFY WITH LOGICAL REASONING PLEASE… think about it like it happened to you or your daughter or your sister and then answer me. Or ask Guruji to prove his Godly powers just once in whatever small way he can.
And don’t be a Devils Advocate. Be reasonable when you answer to justify such cheap things happening in the organization. Don’t make it sound like oh this guy who is being accused has 50 murder cases against him but we can only prove 5 of them so he is a great human and he is free to do whatever he has done and whatever he continues to do and so AOL stands by him.
Just for everyone’s info I heard the way the Guru was reacting and condemning MF Hussain for painting nude women. In extremely strong and harsh words he called MF to be mentality ill etc etc and that MF should be punished, not given Indian or even Qatar residency… wow all this was being said for a non living piece of Art. What about a real girl a real breathing human a real body a heart and soul that was exposed abused used by an artist of a spiritual organization… All that happened to me was not on a piece of canvas its real life real human life and emotions, and physical body that was played with colored black and nude had life in it, it wasn’t a painting that can be sold or burned away…This AOL guy did everything with full consciousness and dirty intentions ( hey hey please don’t give me the crap – not to see intentions behind other peoples mistake…intentional or unintentional physical abuse is a abuse, a rape is a rape which is done for thrill and pleasure so don’t even expect me to see the goodness behing whatever he did was for my growth)… and well he never bothered to utter one Sorry, forget about calling off a relation gracefully with respect like other humans generally do with dignity and grace. Making the girl feel no less then a toilet paper used and thrown away. And when the girl tries to talk just once she is told that its over , I have another girl in life so do not disturb and just stay away, and if you can’t take this girl then end your life...that’s how the people on spiritual path break up , walk away silently(celebrate silence), play with emotions( cos life is a game)…I can go on and on sharing everything he and his family said and did…
But tell me why does AOL loves to breed such guys – so evidently. Wow – How the guru has blessed us with these brilliant knowledge points that we can manipulate as per our comfort and be happy all the time. It’s easy to say Let go. Its easy to say move on. Its easy to say accept people as they are. Its even more easy to say live in present moment forget the past…To all the AOLers who are reading this I wish whatever happened to me happens to you , your sisters, your daughters…let this one scar on body mind and soul, let this one impression fall hard on your life and your memory and then show me how to accept a rape.. and then make that guy a satsang singer or a rishi or a swami.
Unless of course you are used to screwing and being screwed by every other men..cause change is constant...feelings change…every moment is new a new girl a new guy a new room a new place a new desire…so accept the change!!!!
WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY DEAR AOLers
And anyway for your help check out this link – seems like a sport for the superficial thick skinned and insensitive AOLers. enjoy the read –