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Secret AOL Knowledge Revealed

May 21, 2010

There is a lot of secret knowledge in AOL. Certain knowledge tapes are to be seen only in groups, under supervision. People are asked not to talk about the processes on the courses to people who haven’t done the courses. And the teachers, of course, are given Supreme Secret Knowledge, first on TTC and later on Teacher’s Refresher Courses, directly from the guru’s mouth.

Why is this knowledge kept secret? Why, to protect us, of course. This Secret Knowledge is so powerful, it can do serious damage to you if you are not Ready To Receive It. Let me give you a few examples, directly from the guru’s mouth. But be careful, this is Powerful Stuff: If your system is not strong enough, it may damage you. You may want to skip reading it. No? Well, you can’t say I didn’t warn you. OK, here goes…

Skizophrenics have become so because in a past life they either commited suicide or tormented animals.

To guarantee a safe journey, let your first step be with your left foot and whisper “Jai Guru Dev”. (or was it right foot? That explains why I missed the bus, the other day!) If a room has Bad Energy, traverse the room in the counter-clockwise direction, sit facing south, stomp your left foot three times. And oh yeah, whisper Jai Guru Dev.

New York has a Guardian Angel who drops by Ravi’s 5-star hotel, whenever he is in town.

From Bharat Bai, who is called Swami something-or-other today, we learned that there is a cave under Sumeru in the Bangalore Ashram containing several centuries-old sadhus in deep meditation. Please Do Not Disturb! He also told an equally fascinating story of how Ravi talks to extra-terrestrials who visit the Ashram. Unfortunately the aliens are invisible to everyone else than Ravi Ravi. How inconvenient.

The Three Wise Men visiting baby Jesus were originally from Bad Antogast. No shit, they are! As far as I remember they are alive and well, sitting in deep meditation in a cave in The Black Forest. Again, please do not disturb.

I can’t say for sure that I remember these examples 100% correctly. No matter. It demonstrates how absurd this so-called Secret Knowledge is. Back then, my intellect was struggling to make sense of all this. I wanted so much to believe, to be a Good Devotee to my Guru. When Ravi started seeing angels all over the place, in photographs of satsangs, I felt the same embarrasment with him as children do with their parents when they realize for the first time that they are just people, with flaws, shortcomings and imperfections. How can dustmotes on the lens of a digital camera become angels, to an adult, seemingly intelligent man? Does that mean that you actually summon hordes of angels, if you throw dust in the air in a dark room, and take a photo with the flash on? Do angels live off dust?

Today, of course, the explanation is painfully obvious. Lack of intelligence, in a man desperate to demonstrate to the world that he is an Instigator of Miracles.

So maybe all this Secret Knowledge isn’t secret to protect us from harm, but rather to make us feel privileged for the small morsels we receive, and guilty because we are so obviously Unclean and Unworthy to receive more. In other ways, the secrecy is a way to control us? No, that is just too paranoid. Knowledge has to be Hard to Obtain, in order to be appreciated, right? So we don’t take it for granted, yes? That must be it…. And of course that explains the exorbitant prices, also!

What is your favorite Secret AOL Knowledge? Post a comment, this will be fun to read!

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15 Comments
  1. WhistleBlower permalink
    May 21, 2010 10:45 pm

    Good one Skywalker. I can’t stop laughing.
    Yes, I too have heard all these, umpteen times, many from RS himself. Bhanu Didi loves to repeat the story of her also seeing the guardian angel of NY (or rather the strange light) when the angel visited RS in the middle of night! That is how RS propagates such stories, through his sister & other close lackeys & teachers.
    No wonder there were so many angels in SJ celebrations in Bangalore Ashram. The place was sure dusty as hell!

    Your conclusions are right. All these secret knowledge are part of mind control games RS plays, making his devotees feel special. He must have a good laugh, watching them all parrot whatever BS he feeds them!

    The following is just one example of many such messages he sends out from time to time & devotees pass to each other feeling special!
    12 April 2009

    — Message from GURUJI…..

    The time till 30th April is bound to have accidents, diseases, money losses and
    partial depression.

    Please do ‘Om Namah Shivaya’ chanting regularly to protect yourself and
    others.

    These two months be careful. Don’t drive rash. Drive slowly. Step in to the
    vehicle with the foot of active nostril. Say if your right nostril is active
    then step in vehicle with right foot. There will be unnecessary
    fights, arguments, confrontations. You will not be able to do anything. Just be
    calm, composed and strong. Pray. Things will get better eventually.

    LOKA SAMASTA SUKHINOO BHAVANTU…

    • holierthanthou permalink
      June 2, 2010 3:42 pm

      I remember that hotel quite well! You couldn’t get into SSRS’s room if you weren’t wearing a cheap suit. Reminded me of the story of the man who began “feeding” his jacket because that is what got him into the exclusive dinner party.

  2. John permalink
    May 21, 2010 11:00 pm

    I wonder if RS reviews and approves which stories can be told to AOLites or teachers are free to make up their own stories as they see fit to make their speeches/talks more interesting.
    Also, does RS give (sell) things like rings, bracelets, necklace etc to members with the promise that these things will ward off bad luck? If not maybe that could be next money maker for him.

  3. WhistleBlower permalink
    May 22, 2010 12:34 am

    Hi John,
    Most stories (such as the ones mentioned by Skywalker) originate from RS himself. Then his lackeys & teachers propagate these. On top of these stories, are “Guru Stories” originated & propagated through his senior teachers. These are most encouraged by RS & are actually part of TTC, TRM, Gurupuja, etc., Syllabus & are repeated in generous portions in more advanced courses like part2, DSN, volunteer meetings, etc.
    There are competitions between teachers, esp. senior ones, to come up with the best “Guru Stories”. No amount of creative imagination or exaggerations are discouraged. The more wacky they are, the more devotees go gaga over them!!

    Re Rings, bracelets question, no, not yet as far as I know (You just gave him another money-making idea!), but devotees are told to carry his photos in their wallets & every room of the house & in their cars, offices, etc for protection. What better way to make sure his photos are everywhere & visible. There are photos (professionally done) to cater for all tastes, e.g. for those who would like to see him as “Christ reincarnate” or as Krishna or Gurudev,..etc. Also plenty merchandise of any kind you can imagine with his photo on them.

    His teachers & devotees give plenty example of how he saved their lives in this or that accidents. One of my favourites is the story of how the fire consumed Shirley & Dean Harmison’s place, all of it except for the part that had RS’s photo. And no they are not the only ones who had this fortune (or shall I say misfortune?!), many of teachers repeat similar stories, happening to themselves or other devotees. I have to admit, I always wondered why Guru’s compassion didn’t extend to save rest of their homes or prevent fire from happening in the first place!
    Of course we hardly ever get told of many misfortunes that the devotees suffer in spite of having guru’s photos everywhere, but heaven forbid if one gets a lucky ticket or comes through an accident with only a broken limb, or gets a cheque in mail, these are all attributed to RS! And if you ask him why he didn’t stop a devotee from having an accident altogether, rather than coming out of it with broken limbs, etc., he or his lackeys would say some bad Karma the person has to suffer, but because RS is a “Sadguru” (mistake was intended!), he can reduce the impact of the accident, like if they were meant to get killed in a car accident, he can come & save their lives! And of course there are few AOL teachers who claim they died & RS brought them back to life!
    I always wondered why he didn’t save the lives of “his most beloved devotes, Nityanand and Nandita”, who apparently died during AOL seva. Instead he celebrated their “returning to the source”!!
    We better don’t even start on death of all those teachers who have died from cancer or all kind of other health problems nor mention health problems of senior teachers! These kind of “guru stories” are not so welcomed in AOL circles!

  4. Manju permalink
    May 22, 2010 6:18 am

    Yeah, all this seems familiar…

    But on a lighter note, yesterday night I dreamt that Guruji’s hand was on my head (blessing) but soon after I noticed that it was Bhanu didi who was blessing (did the Guru walk away and leave Bhanu didi to complete the blessing? Or had my husband’s hand fallen heavily on my head just then? 🙂

    But the funny part was that as the dream progressed, Bhanu didi soon forgot about the blessing and started admiring my necklace…:-)))

    Funnily enough, the last part was a repetition of real life. Some time back, I met her at a senior teacher’s wedding, and was about to touch her feet when I noticed that she was not looking at me but directly a the diamond pendant that I was wearing….even at that time, it seemed strange to me.

    When one thinks about Sarada Devi, who was so simple yet so beautiful….

    Whether there are angels, or whether the stories are true, whether the intellect should be quelled to understand the mysterious phenomena, I am not commenting or judging.

    All that I can say for now is that I am very happy to connect directly with God..and leave all the mystery to Him. He will Resolve it with Time….till then, I am grateful that in whatever path He chose for me for a time, it has allowed me to move on.

  5. Vinod permalink
    May 22, 2010 9:45 am

    @WhistleBlower

    YES! they do sell SSRS’s clothes and little things like rudraxa mala are usually for sale and auction in Bad Antogast and few other occations around in Europe for sale through “Divine Shop” and same in US…i have seen kurtas and dhotis and angavastram for sale…of course i dont need to mention you at what price!!!ha haha…
    one of my friend got one of “HIS” dhoti as gift.. (250 Euros!!!!)

  6. KLIM permalink
    May 22, 2010 1:32 pm

    Manju, Sky, etc. You are all making me break up in good laughter with all the stories – “please do not disturb”! Hahaaa. Apparently the German ashram was full of bad spirits when they bought it but SS said putting his pictures in all the rooms would make them go to the light, as well as all the satsangs. See? The satsangs are not only changing the energy of that area but also eliminating the “bad karma” of Germany and the Germans (though the energy is so heavy in that country due to its recent history, the guru goes as his seva to help that region, it is said and so he says), but they also help those spirits go back to the light. Carrying his picture also helps you from any bad incidents, as well as saying “Om Namah Shivaya” 3 times (though this one lost importance when after paying a large sum of money and talk about your sexual fantasies for 3 days, the blessings course teacher gives you the big key secret to bless: place your hand on the person’s head, think of “Guruji” and say 3 times: “Om Namah Shivaya” or “Om Namo Narayana”, of yes, but before, while thinking of “Guruji” say also 3 times “Jai Gurudev” – I know, they could have told you without having gone thru the course, shared your fantasies or paid all that money, no?). What about the story of someone’s house being burned down except the are where he had his altar with his pictures and the Kriya tape? Untouched, of course, the “guru’s grace” and that amazing picture that saves you from all! Of course, the reason why AoL devotees who were in the Towers on the incident of 9/11 were “saved” (and not the rest, they had not guru’s grace nor SS’s picture … maybe NYC deserves a big big big picture of RS on the tallest building, also so that the Angel of NY does not miss him nor need to bend down to meet him in a hotel room, since he is so tall? as tall as all the NYC buildings?). But what about the time an old timer devotee got “lost” at the Canadian ashram? Noone could find him anywhere and then found him dead in his tent? The guy had died and the “guru”, who claims will be the first one to receive his devotees on the portal of death, did not even know … And the story of the guy who went to get darshan and upon hugging the guru had the thought: “Wow, now I can die in peace”, and died the next day. Of course, according to Ravi, “be careful what you wish for when you are in my presence” but laughed hilariously with the story. In laughing tears he’d repeat, “and he died! he died! his poor family did not know what to say! he died when the course ended! hahahahaaaaa” Funny? What about the story of one of the top most senior teachers who went running to him bc the astrologer told her she’d have 2 children and she freaked out? And the guru said, “No no, it was like that but I changed it” – what about, yes, he changed it by grabbing her to be full-timer and have no possibilities of any life? Change the destiny? Of course, like the time I organized a public talk for him and was worried about the weather and he laughed at me and said, “I will change it” and the sun came out the next day and he looked at me like, “Didn’t you know I am that powerful yet?” Then someone told me the weather report was already that that day the sun would come out. Maybe he watched CNN weather report before I did but I naively believed him! So many such stories I can think of!

    All I know is we ended up “Jaigurudeving” or “Omnamahshivaying” most of the time – just in case, of course! Though the Grace of the Guru was also with us … but you just don’t know, we are unclean people still washing our karmas. So, if something bad happened to us, our bad karma, if something good happened to us, amazing, the grace of the Guru! – yes, your good karma for having a guru!

    • The Philalethist permalink
      May 22, 2010 6:38 pm

      Wow Klim … your last paragraph is brilliant.

      Yeah … we must never forget we are all sinners, we are criminals, we are unclean people (even after all the SK and AOL crs) and then we get lucky when we sit in satsangs , where the Singer, who has the power to help you drop that big bag of sins that you all carry on your head. The singer will repeatedly ask you to get up and dance..even if you are sick ,old , tired or even if you just want to close your eyes and meditate, But the satsang singer who has a higher vision and goal to work on (i.e. your enlightenment) will then terrorize you to get up start dancing and shake your head so that the big bag of sins finally fall from your head and hey it doesnt end here..this bag of sins falls on those people who remain seated and hence the people sitting in the satsang end up accumulating even more sins at the end of the satsang.

      And don’t forget Divine knows everything.
      Everything happens through divine intervention.( specially in aol and ashram where the lord resides)
      Mysterious ways of divine.

  7. Anonymous permalink
    May 22, 2010 4:06 pm

    Thank you for sharing some deeply divine mysterious secrets of this universe.
    By the way – Many times angel follow me at evening parties and even to discos.
    I guess its all his grace that after I got attached to AOL I am so blessed that Angels just follow me everywhere…

  8. WhistleBlower permalink
    May 22, 2010 10:50 pm

    Oh Klim, I haven’t stopped laughing since reading your comment. Just Hilarious. You are too good.
    Honestly someone has to put all these stories into a book. It will be the best selling comic book of the year.
    There are so many good subjects in your email, each can be subject of a different post.
    I think you & Skywalker are on the right track, the best healing therapy ever for all ex-AOLites, i.e. laughing therapy on “guru stories”!
    Good one Manju & Anon 4:06 pm (By the way, why not choose an alias, easier), loved your sense of humor too.
    I don’t think we have even scratched the surface when it comes to the huge amount of humor resorvoir in AOL. There should be a movie just on RS/AOL. Will be a hit, that I am sure of! Anyone out there from movie industry looking for a comedy subject?Think who should play RS & his sister.
    How about those of you with song writing abilities? It will make it to top of charts!
    And Vinod, yes, I have seen few auctions selling RS’s old clothes. How gross is that? But hey, when it comes to earning $$$ no idea is below RS.
    What is next, selling his underwear at top price branded under the “Divine Shakti”?

    Good one Philalethist, re those sitting in satsang accumulating more sins, So funny.

  9. May 23, 2010 3:46 am

    what about the courses for children who designed it????

  10. Peter (aka drpetersutphen) permalink
    May 25, 2010 1:13 am

    Boy, this is a regular circle jerk, isn’t it?

  11. sumil saxena permalink
    July 25, 2010 11:24 am

    Hi

    All you people need to do is one course by Our guruji .. And that will change all .. go with full of doubts and answers and do Basic Course believe me u will learn a lot .. Its time to except change not to find intentions …

    • fzr2000 permalink
      July 8, 2011 7:46 pm

      Basic course is great. there is nothing wrong with Basic course but you have to keep somethings in mind-

      -Don’t do kriya
      -Don’t ever try to make sense or find meaning of the things you learn.
      -Don’t register for advance courses (part II, dsn) which will be advertised on last day.
      -Don’t buy gifts from the divine shop
      -Don’t tell about the course to people you know

      seriously for lulz

  12. exaolteacher permalink
    July 25, 2010 1:53 pm

    @sumil saxena
    not your fault world is filled with people like you.

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