In Further Defence of Eng An
I first went to an aol meditation many years ago by invitation of my sister in law.
I remember a large room with soft music, candles, people sitting in silence. In the front of the room my eyes were caught by this porcelan-alike figure sitting in a lotus posture. With clear Oriental features, her face was glowing with kindness and serenity. She was youg, and her words were soft and low, but full of authority. As an artist, I couldn´t help to compare her with a talking figure of Kuang Yi. Only that her name was Eng An, and she was the most beautiful teacher ever teaching in The Art Of Living. Hey, hey, I didn´t get a crush for her… I´m an artist and as such, beauty really moves me.
It took me a couple of years to take the part 1 course. When I finally went to the placed they indicated me, I found another nice lady sitting in front, older than the previous one but still as friendly. Her name was Beatriz. By the end of the course I felt tempted to ask about eng an but something in the air told to better not.
As I got involved with the group while doing seva I also learned that Beatriz had been actually a disciple of Eng an, and that both woman befriended easily due to their love for the master. Beatriz then started assisting Eng An´s on eng an courses learning quickly and showing how good teacher she could also be.
Sadly, the devotion that united them at first soon turned into celousy and competition to get more personal attention from guruji´s side. And then -as well as nowadays- the way to guruji´s heart had more to do with figures -whether money raised or souls recruited.
I never knew much of Eng an´s background, only that she was a succesful bank executive before dropping it all to follow the master. Beatriz was married to a wealthy man and also came from a whealthy family, wich, in combination with her profesion -corresponsal journalist- allowed her direct access to the most important figures; artist, politicians, business man… you name it. With a bolding innate ambition and agressive determination, she rapidly put guruji´s name in the mouth of that people, plus his picture in gigantic billboards around the city. It was no brainer to foresee Beatriz winning that secret and hostile competition with Eng An… soon the country turned too small for both of them and Beatriz clearly showed she didnt want to share her new conquered territory with anyone!. The war was declared, and Beatriz used her experience, charisma and influences to make eng an feel like a missfit. Guruji soon got the news.
Not wanting to spoil Beatriz aggressive “Go-getter” qualities, he convinced Eng an about moving to Brazil and start pionering aol there. Although her feelings were hurting from loosing the armrestling, she hang on her love for guruji and did as he said.
As the years passed, aol argentina kept growing tremendously, but always under a too tough mandate of Beatriz, so much that many times the seva workers suffered a dictatorship. Those teachers not fully in agree with Beatrice´s manners were turned into enemies right away. Everyone had issues due to her constant mistreatment and terrible manners. There was a permanent display of two personalities that got many people very upset, but, again, most everyone stayed in aol for the love of the guru, and any possible report sent to guruji reporting the situation was quickly put away for the papers he wanted to see were the numbers: numbers in collecting and number of recruited.
regarding Ignacio, I first saw him playing bhadjans one night. he had the phisique do rol of aol teachers -very good looking- but except being the musical star during the satsang he was never there. Sweet eyes, a little melancholic, skeeny, one would offer him a glass of vitamin C and a blanket. I knew by then that he and Eng An had some history in the past, and although she wanted to break up she had to stay more in the relationship as per gurujis especial request. Another no brainer, Ignacio also comes from a very good family with influences in the media.
Finally, the last time I saw her was by gurujis kutir during the silver jubilee. A beautiful flower as always, her eyes looked sad though, and while we were chatting I could sense that the argentineans passing us by were discretely outcasting her. It gave me the chills to think that Beatriz was controlling who would dare to approach her.
Later that day chatting over a chai with my roomate, he says: That is not the way to treat an old timer devotee like her. That Argentinean girl loved guruji up to the point of almost getting married to a powerful man in brazil as per gurujis indication. And now she fell from his grace? why? she didn´t collected enough for the crown this time?
Finally my dear friends, and regarding her being said as bipolar, two things: 1) if she had it before AOL it was aol´s serious mistake having place such burden on her shoulders. 2) If she turned bipolar later – again is aol´s responsability for letting her so alone. Now that she left them, they find no clever way to assure she will keep her mouth shout by threating her and difamating her. That makes me think that AOLers outraged complaints for the way they feel the master is being diffamated, well, maybe is a cause and consequence effect… this Karma thing is actually super cool.
Trying to contact either ignacio or beatriz will no bring light nor redemption to all this…only guruji could, at least in recognition for the love, devotion and loyalty of a young talented woman who devoted -and lost- a great deal of her youth.
And all for what? because she walked away. And unlike many of us, she knows a lot. Hence the reason -unreasonable excuse!- to blacken her name.
Triying to get either ignacio nor beatriz to testify will bring nothing more than more rubish to pile up in her absence.
I only now, guys, I really hope all this aol matter is buried in her past and she is getting a life finally. but if someday she needs it, every aol victim will be having a moral responsability to evaluate… because we could have become her, we just happened to be lucky.