Confused – Please Help
by Ms Confused
I never thought I wud be writing on this site but finally I am writing.
I am not that much associated with AOL but recently I attended Part II with Rishi NP in Dec 2011. Earlier I did Part I in 2009 and DSN in 2010. But I never got carried away by any teachers. But Rishi NP being a very charming person, very good Satsung Singer, I got carried away by him. I had decided that I will remain unmarried, leave my career, go to Ashram and do Seva full time (in just 4 days of the course time).
After the course I went through various sites just to get additional info about RS, Rishi NP & AOL. Then I came across this site. Earlier I cudnt believe it that AOL is like this and decided not to go thru this site. After around one week I went thru some of the blogs from this site and KLIM’s site out of curiosity. Then I felt that something must be wrong in AOL.
All I can say is that because of my GOD’s grace (not Guru’s grace) I was not that involved the way some were involved for 5-10 years. I am lucky that I was involved just for 3-4 weeks and not for long time. But I am feeling the same pain as when one is being cheated. I believed that Rishi NP was very Good and I had lots of respect for him. He had changed me a lot in the course. Also during the course I felt great. During his Satsung I felt a different kind of energy in me. I had even planned for a big amount for Donation to Ashram. But Thank God!! I am saved because of this site.
I dont know what to do now…I am totally confused. I cant believe that Rishi NP is fraud. He is such a devotional singer I still listen to his Bhajans and feel good. However I dont enjoy doing Padma Sadhana, Kriya, Sahaj Samadhi anymore as I keep thinking of AOL (as Fraud) all the time…
I had told my family members great things about AOL and now I cant say these bad things to them. Also I know some of the acquaintances who want to join AOL for seva. I want to tell them about such happenings. Should I tell them?? or Should I wait for them to realise??
I am totally confused. Please help me out to forget this RS, AOL and Rishi NP.